The huge castle in Atrona City could be seen from miles around. With the treasury of the Paramori kingdom overflowing, its capital city was always decorated as in a festival. Half of the city was filled with houses, shops, places of recreation and many other buildings, the other half being occupied by the huge castle. The castle was like a city in itself. The whole army was stationed there and it had to be taken care of properly. It also contained all the ministries and governmental offices, and so the huge space it occupied was justified. Three times in war had it given shelter to the people of Atrona City and nearby villages when they had been attacked by external forces. The kingdom had attained a sort of invincible position under King Cyrus, whose radical and free-natured mind helped the kingdom to grow in wealth and power.
In one of the houses inside the castle lived a boy Jake and his sister Alice. They both were twins and seventeen years of age. They had been orphans since they could recall and the King had given them shelter and taken care of their needs from the beginning. Being of the same age as Prince William, the two had become good friends with the King's only son.
"Sometimes, I think being an orphan is better than leading a normal life. We have got so much freedom like this.", said Alice.
"No, that is wrong. We may be orphans, but we are not living like it. His Majesty takes care of all our needs. He even imposes restrictions on us like a real father. Now that we are big and more independent, he has given us more freedom.", Jake replied.
"I agree to that".
"Getting to do whatever you want does sound good, but it comes with its negative effects.".
"Okay, I understand. You do not need to star a lecture here. Sleep well today. Tomorrow is going to be hectic. We have to go to the Atrona Waterfall and investigate what is going on there. I saw some shady characters there last night. They were up to something I didn't feel good about.".
"You did not feel good about what they were doing or you are doubting them just because they were like some shady characters?".
"Actually yes. That could be a reason. Now be put off to sleep or I'll start doubting you."
"About what?".
"Just shut up and sleep".
"No tell me. About what?".
"Good night Jake.".
"Hmm. Good night Alice."
The next day, Jake and Alice went to the King to tell him where they were going. One time before they had gone away somewhere without telling him and the King had sent a search party to find them. From that day they were careful to let him know of their whereabouts.
After informing the King, they went to the stables to pick their horses. The royal stable was open to them for any horse they wanted, but they had their favorites.
I like the first half a lot. It's a very good opening and the character and setting I like, but the dialogue needs work.
ReplyDeleteIll keep that in mind
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